Just Play Nice

As we age, we become creatures of habit, resistant to change, and just plain tired. We love to spout off phrases like, "When I was..." or "This generation now is..." and then we exercise such restraint to even interact with those significantly younger than us. I find myself doing this, too, but also, I have learned a lot from interacting with my younger "siblings." The first thing I learned is not to be too hasty with judgement - explore for yourself, then assess. I remember when having a spontaneous booty call was so invigorating, and yet scary; now, I try to plan my acts of spontaneity (sans booty calls). Ugh! What is wrong with that? Also, most of my younger friends have a bit more optimism than I -they are not tainted. When we age, we become "damaged," we find it easier to point out the bad in people, and we do not focus on the positive things that people bring to the table. I wish that my friends & loved ones can do this more often. I am not asking my friends & loved ones to be "cheerleaders" (they are annoying), I am just asking them to refrain from always seeking the negative. It gets old, like them, real fast. We all have bad days, we all experience life events that are not "peaches & cream," & we all have to interact with sucky people. The challenge is not to let these things damage us, and turn us into gloomy people as we age. So, to all of my older comrades, say something nice to someone today, give out a compliment, and listen wholeheartedly. Buck the gloom!

Personal Excavation

After both Holidays, we tend to have tons of "stuff" lying around, such as new gifts, old clothes, & Holiday decor. Deciding on what to put away, pitch, or keep can take days or even weeks. With the start of a new year, personal excavation can be for both the material and the emotional. Yes, I am the shoe and sweater queen, but I have more to pitch than last year's cardigan and last year's loafers. The first thing I want to pitch is my "stew." My "stew" is the big pot of angst that I keep in order to remain a nice guy. Well, no more stew! I will let people know when I am happy, sad, angry, disappointed, etc... I will also let people know if their actions affect me negatively or positively. A dialogue of compassion and honesty will pitch any "stew" out the window. Another item to pitch is my lingering need to acquire - I love to shop for new stuff and I love to pitch the old. This can get pricy, and time-consuming. I spend so much time online, in stores, finding coupons - I need a break! Plus, I tend to get hungry when I shop and acquire, so I eat more, of course. Whew! This blogging shit feels good!
What are you going to excavate in 2009?

The First Post. The Right Message

I was quite bored watching the Critic's Choice Awards, so I decided to start a blog. I often have much to say, much to confess to, and much to rant about (plus my hubby works at night, so the dogs have to suffer my ranting) -  a blog is a great solution and it will not get me in trouble with the ASPCA. I called this blog "becaptivated," because I believe that we all have the ability to captivate others, to captivate ourselves, and to make a captivating impact on our lives and others. 

I have been quite amazed by what has been going on in the American gay communities lately. In 2008, we cancelled "marriage" as a right for gay Californians, we do not allow gay couples to adopt in Arkansas, and we have many anti-gay initiatives that passed. How did this happen? Wasn't "Will & Grace" good enough for the soccer moms, the preacher wives, and the religious simpletons in the suburbs and rural areas of the U.S.A.? I mean "Will & Grace" was so non-threatening, and it had enough stereotypes to appease the ignorant. So, why did the anti-gay movement have an uprising? Were we not vocal enough or were we saying the wrong things and sending the wrong message. Most of the homos in the U.S. are not lovelorn Will Trumans and most homos are not Jack McFarlanes, plus most lesbians are not Ellen. Where are the "real

gays in mass media? How can we get the message that we are very similar to our hetero buddies - we love, we hurt, we have families, we have jobs, and most of us do not fall into a stereotype. To my gay brothers/sisters: love yourself and then give "them" the accurate message of who the gays are and to my hetero buddies/family: listen to our pleas, and realize that we just want a level playing field. Get it? Good. Now, lick it! Thank you for listening, and stay captivated everyday. MP3